Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Crazy Cabmate - True Story #10


Goldfish


Cabmate: "I can't believe my goldfish survived 13 days without food :)"

(Me (thinking): "OMG! That's criminal!")

Crazy Cabmate - True Story #9


Art of Living


Cabmate: "What do you think of Art of Living?"

Now these are the kind of questions that I absolutely hate being asked. I despise answering them too.

It's a little like "What do you think of Baba Ramdev?". What are you supposed to say? Your honest opinion is only going to lead to a debate.

I chose to give an irrelevant answer.

Me: "Art of Living? I think they are good marketers"

Cabmate: "You know, you should attend one of their workshops. It will make you a calmer person"

Me: "You know me. I barely talk. I'm as calm as someone can get"

Cabmate: "You know, many years ago, I attended one of their workshops in Delhi. And I stopped smoking. For a week"

Me (puzzled): "Aha?"

Cabmate: "I'm going again now for another Art of Living workshop. It's next to your house. Why don't you join me?"

Me: "No Thanks"

So, my cabmate arrives a week later - looking 'calmer'.

Our car gets stuck in peak hour bumper-to-bumper traffic, for a bit.

The driver and I are puzzled as we hear loud heaving sighs from the backseat.

We turn around to find my Cabmate performing some weird breathing exercise, with his eyes tight shut and left nostril closed with his right hand. He repeats this process, interchanging hands and nostrils, a few dozen times.

It's hard to not laugh. Or to not want to pull out your mobile phone and shoot a video of the situation. But I choose not to.

20 mins later we arrive at office. I step out of the car and walk to the elevator, only to realise that my cabmate hasn't walked out of the car yet.

I head back to check on him.

He's still annoyingly loud - snoring in his sleep though!

Friday, July 15, 2011

Crazy Cabmate - True Story #8


Fishy


There are days when I choose to work from home or days when I choose not to take the office cab home.

On those days, my cabmate runs personal errands with the office cab.

Cabmate: "Hero, today, I feel like eating fish"

Driver: "So?"

Cabmate: "Can you take me to the Fish Market?"

Driver: "But that's not on our way. It's in fact, way out!"

Cabmate: "Its ok. You take me there"

Driver: "No Sir. I can't do that. I can drop you half way and then you can go"

My cabmate was apparently upset but chose to take up the half-way offer anyway.

Conversation next day:

Driver: "Sir, how much fish did you buy?"

Cabmate: "2"

Driver: "2 kilos?"

Cabmate: "No.Two fish" (sic)

Driver (dumbstruck): "How much was it there?

Cabmate: "50 INR each"

Driver: "How much was your 3-wheeler ride?"

Cabmate: "60 INR"

Driver: "How much does the same fish cost near your house?"

Cabmate: "60 INR each :)"

Do the math.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Crazy Cabmate - True Story #7


Inconceivable


If you're an out-of-towner, finding a place to live in Mumbai can be extremely difficult (and expensive).

Most neighborhoods don't want bachelors, spinsters, young couples, etc. And to top it all off, there's the ruthless brokers who are out to rip you off.

As I tried to make sense of all this madness, my cabmate tried to reassure me with his insightful words:

Cabmate: "You know, actually, all this is not such a big deal"

Me: "Eh?"

Cabmate: "When I was newly married and new to Mumbai, I stayed at a 5-star hotel for 45 days"

Me: "WOW! On Company Expense?"

Cabmate: "Yes: :) :) :)" (Grinning ear to ear, extremely proud of his 'achievement')

Me: "What's your point?"

Cabmate: "Once we found a flat, we didn't really buy much stuff"

Me: "Well, you need the basic stuff, you know...."

Cabmate: "Ya. Some people were moving out of the city and we bought their second hand stuff. Fridge for 2,000 INR. Washing Machine for 2,000 INR. And we didn't buy beds. We only bought a mattress"

Me: "Eh?"

Cabmate: "We bought a bed only once we conceived our child :)"

Friday, July 01, 2011

Crazy Cabmate - True Story #6


Three Free Nights


Cabmate: "What are you doing this vacation?"

Me: "I'm going to Goa"

Cabmate: "Oh nice. Where will you be staying?"

Me: "Some shack"

Cabmate: "Shack? What's that? I stay only at 5-star hotels"

Me: "5-star hotels? On company expense? :P"

Cabmate: "Ya. So, what is a shack?"

Me: "A shack is very basic accommodation but it's usually right on the beach. Since it's the season, shacks will be expensive too"

Cabmate: "Oh? How much?"

Me: "Off-season shacks that cost 1,000 INR a night cost 4,000 INR a night in the season. But, I've managed to find an awesome place for 1,500 INR a night. The only thing is, they expect one to book for at least 14 nights in a row. And we are staying for 11 nights. So, we decided to pay for 3 extra nights"

Cabmate: "Link me to their website later"

I do that dutifully.

Two days later, he walks up to me in office and says "I need to talk to you"

Me: "Sure"

Cabmate: "I'll take those 3 Free nights :)"

Me: "........"

Cabmate: "Ok? :)"

Me: "No. That's not possible"

Cabmate: "But don't say 'No' without even checking with the guys"